Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Parallel
While I was nervous about the forgotten undone homework, I walked into Math classroom. The seats were arranged in group! As soon as I saw it, I have an uneasy feeling. This happened at everytime, of course. Where should I sit? I walked to the original my seat area, which now combined with three other desks, and put my bag on the desk. Two guys who originally sits behind me were at the other two desks. Then, I sat down. Then they went away to the back seats along with their bags and they called Kalen over, too, who is my tablemate. I watched to the other side of the room and tried to pretend I didn't see the whole thing. It didn't really happen. I told myself I didn't care, I didn't care and it's natrual and usual, I didn't care... (Two girls came to sit with me later. I would always be grateful to them)
This event disturbed my heart and sent my mood down and down. Then I remembered what happened to the African the day before. He's from Tanzania and he came to our English class as a speaker. Mrs. Kern said he's really intelligent the day before he came and asked us to bring food and drink. When we were sitting there, hearing Mrs. Kern's introdution, we were all examine the short black man. Then, we were asked to go to talk to him and get the food and drink in front. We stood up but walked in a slow pace, watching each other. The reluctance must hurt him as it hurt me. We moved. To my astonishment, the few people in front walked past him without saying a word. They got the food and went back. I felt embarrassed and uneasy for him. But at the same time I approached him and felt uncomfortable. I said "Hi" and smiled but still passed him. Now, I feel so ashamed of myself. Why not say more and talk to him as a friend? Why act as others and be afraid? But done is done. When I was getting the cookie I brought, I heard people say "nice to meet you"and saw them shaking hands. Yeah, that's right. I felt a little relaxed and saw Mrs. Kern's approving eyes and nods. When I listened to his presentation, I remembered the line from Hotel Rwanda-"They are only Africans, they are not even niger."
What a similarity between me and him! Both in a foreign country and treated as a foriegner. . .
This event disturbed my heart and sent my mood down and down. Then I remembered what happened to the African the day before. He's from Tanzania and he came to our English class as a speaker. Mrs. Kern said he's really intelligent the day before he came and asked us to bring food and drink. When we were sitting there, hearing Mrs. Kern's introdution, we were all examine the short black man. Then, we were asked to go to talk to him and get the food and drink in front. We stood up but walked in a slow pace, watching each other. The reluctance must hurt him as it hurt me. We moved. To my astonishment, the few people in front walked past him without saying a word. They got the food and went back. I felt embarrassed and uneasy for him. But at the same time I approached him and felt uncomfortable. I said "Hi" and smiled but still passed him. Now, I feel so ashamed of myself. Why not say more and talk to him as a friend? Why act as others and be afraid? But done is done. When I was getting the cookie I brought, I heard people say "nice to meet you"and saw them shaking hands. Yeah, that's right. I felt a little relaxed and saw Mrs. Kern's approving eyes and nods. When I listened to his presentation, I remembered the line from Hotel Rwanda-"They are only Africans, they are not even niger."
What a similarity between me and him! Both in a foreign country and treated as a foriegner. . .
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